09 04 06 Waiting for activation...
I got through my first full week without help - and I survived! The intermittent pain is getting less frequent. My ear still feels like it has a lot of pressure. In general, though, everything is improving and I'm feeling more normal minus the exhaustion. The worst thing right now is that I still get sharp jaw pain when I yawn.
I've noticed that wearing only one hearing aid definitely puts me at a disadvantage. Aaron's had more trouble getting my attention, and lipreading is a touch more difficult. When in the car or in noisy situations, I can barely hear myself, so that has been frustrating.
When I think about activation, I wonder how I'll react. Some people get emotional upon "hearing for the first time." I've been wearing hearing aids since my diagnosis at 14 months of age, so I don't feel like that'll be the case for me. I can already hear people's voices, the phone, and a lot of other sounds that some people can't. Aaron said when he puts my hearing aid to his ear, it sounds distorted and not like real speech. It probably sounded like that when I first started wearing it. Since I hadn't heard sound prior to that and was so young, I wouldn't have known. Having worn them for so long, my brain has adjusted and it sounds perfectly normal to me - no distortion. But when I get my CI, it'll be a different kind of sound. My brain will need to adjust all over again. I'm trying to prepare myself for the fact that the first few weeks will likely be maddening. Will I be able to take the CI off if it gets to be too much? I don't know if they recommend leaving it on no matter what, or if I'm allowed a break now and then...
I've been asking my friends about their activation experiences to try to prepare. David, who has never dropped acid, compares it to, well, an acid trip; he says it will be TRIPPY how C R I S P and CLEARLY I'll hear things. He also said things would be "Jesuscan'tyouputdownyourcoffeemugalittlemoregently" loud and warned me not to be surprised if I get bitchy at times - so, family and friends - watch out! Chris -- who loved wearing brightly colored hearing aids and probably didn't pick a boring brown processor like me -- reminded me that the first few days, I'll be hearing "white noise" all the time, but this will eventually subside. He had a really good suggestion: go to a place the first night of activation day, and really listen to its ambient noise, and then come back in a month, three months, and a year later, and write down my impressions.
Copyright © 2006-2008 Lisa Steinfeld. All Rights Reserved.